Hope.

Tyler.

I fucking love you, man. You are the sweetest, funniest, best guy I know. And, unbelievably, you actually love me too. But that's not what this is about. Last night, when I went to Reyes with you so that you wouldn't be drinking alone after what happened to Katie, you started talking. I mean really talking to me. You told me more last night than any of the other times you've been drunk and talking to me. Until last night, I wasn't really sure if you felt the same way about me. But you told me you did, so here I go. I just wanted to say a few things about our conversation last night because you didn't really give me a chance to talk. lol.

First of all, I believe, with everything that I am, that there is a God, and that He does have a plan for us. I know that you see too many bad things in this world to fully believe, and that's ok. But I do believe that when we die we go to Heaven or Hell. And I can feel that Katie is in heaven with the most gorgeous angel wings ever. Can't you just see her, chillin' on a cloud with huge, feathery wings, looking down on us and making sure we're ok? Because that's all I'm thinking about.

Secondly, we talked about why we weren't a couple. The honest-to-God truth is that we are both too scared to lose our friendship. But I can tell you right here, right now, that if we were in a relationship, I would fall hard and fast for you. And I can already tell you that I'm halfway there. Give me something solid to hold onto and I will never let it go. Especially not you. You, so far, seem to be everything I want in a guy. Now, to be fair, I haven't known you all that long. Which is why I'm content, for now, to just be your best friend and more. Because that's what we both need right now. But one of these days, I'm going to get tired of waiting on the sidelines for you.

Third, you asked about Pennsylvania. You asked, if you were to move back right now, would I be willing to go with you. I lied when I said no. I would go with you in a heartbeat. Especially if we were in a relationship. You have become the one person that I would do absolutely anything for. I would move heaven and earth for you, Ty. I am willing to move 24 hours away from my family and friends to be with you, if you truly and sincerely asked me to go with you. I would pack up everything I own, take my snake and my cat, transfer to a community college up there, and I would be with you.

I just have a few more things I want to say to you. You care so much for other people. You are the kind of guy who genuinely cares, no matter what. You love your son so very much. Most girls, especially younger girls, don't want that responsibility. Personally, I've always wanted kids. If you did get Dayton back, I would be more than thrilled for you. I'd be there every step of the way. You also, quite inexplicably, love me. Now, love isn't always enough. I know that. But the fact that you know all you do about me, and you still care, tells me so much. I've told you more than I've told any of the guys I've dated.

Who knows, maybe one of these days we will be a couple. I might just move to Pennsylvania with you. Or we'll stay best friends [with benefits] and I'll stay here when you go back home. Either way, you are my friend for life, and I will always love you. Thank you so much for being my friend and making me feel special. You will always have a place in my heart.

All my love.