If I Could Write a Letter to Me.

I'd say don't forget to tell Papa how much you love him, and not just because he'll leave you all too soon.

I'd remind you not to fall for guys after just one night. One night is far too soon to know if he's Mr. Right.

I'd say please remember that Mom has feelings too. Just because you're hurting, doesn't mean she should too.

I'd remind you not to let life get you down. There's always tomorrow, no matter how bad things are now.

I'd say treat your sisters better, because they don't deserve those words.

I'd remind you not to lie to Dad. He believes in you with all he has.

I'd say give everyone the benefit of a doubt. High school doesn't last forever, no matter what you think right now.

I'd remind you to always act like yourself. No one can compare to the you I know is there.

I'd like to say that no matter what, asking for help is not giving up.

If I could write a letter to me, I'd say never give up.

Remember that your depression isn't who you are. You are so much more than those vicious thoughts, you're a bright and shining star.

And remember when you're older, how those years have changed you so.

Don't ever forget that Mom and Dad told you so. Because no one believes in you more than them, and in the end they're the ones who were there to lend a hand.

But before I go, there's one last thing I must say to you. You're beautiful, smart, funny and kind of amazing, too. No one can tell you different, not even yourself. So don't ever stop believing you aren't for something more.

This was written to help me cope with my depression. Some people turn to alcohol, some to drugs, but I prefer to write, to give myself a voice. There are many things I've done in life that I thought were hurting other people, but I was really just hurting myself instead. But when it comes down to me seriously considering hurting myself to get away from those choices, something's gotta give, and it certainly won't be me. I'm going to fight for myself, and fight for the life I KNOW I can have.

No Reason.

There is absolutely no logical reason for the way I feel.

There's no one incident in my life that has completely changed me,

No one person responsible for my life being radically altered.

For the most part, I just suffer in silence and pretend I'm ok.

But that's not my reality.

My reality is black, lost and tumultuous.

My reality is a debilitating depression that threatens everything I have in my life.

I can't get out of bed to go to work, I don't want to leave my house to do anything at all.

Today I once again tottered on the edge, trying to decide if life was even worth it or not.

And the sad part is that this is a regular occurrence in my life now.

I'd venture to say that at least once a month I seriously consider suicide.

And no one knows....

The only person I've ever met who does understand doesn't speak to me anymore.

There was only one other person who I talked to about it.

We haven't talked in months either.

I feel utterly and completely alone...

I've felt alone for quite some time now.

I don't think anyone can possibly understand how alone I feel.